Anger Management

          If there are any regular readers of this blog, (doubtful, I've seen the stats...) you might remember a poem I wrote not too long ago about anger. This is because I have a difficult time controlling my temper and as such needed an outlet for which to channel my fury. The result was my unedited, not-so-fantastic poem. Writing helps quell my rage, (as does songwriting, which is technically another form of writing but seems to me to be a different creature entirely,) and so I turn to pen and paper (or computer, as is now evidenced,) and scribble away like a madman until my heart rate calms down a bit. I honestly wish that I had a punching bag in my room. It would make life so much easier. Between that and my terrible writing, I would probably be able to manage my temper pretty well. Who has the emotional capacity to be upset when they've exhausted themselves physically and mentally by writing their hearts out and beating the non-living daylights out of a defenseless punching bag? Not I, sir.
          That, and music. They've always said that music can tame the beast, and in my case, I wholeheartedly agree. I am the first to admit that I am an absolute monster when I am angry. Then again, I don't know many people who are pleasant to be around when they are angry. But music seems to soothe me quite a bit. So the combination of music and writing works as a tonic, and slowly but surely anger seems to seep out of me until it's all but gone. Sadly, I'm convinced that it's never truly gone. I am all but certain that every emotion lives in varying degrees at all times within us. Even when we are our happiest, we are never truly rid of the sadness and the anger and all of those negative emotions. The same can be said when we are feeling negative emotions too, I think. When you're angry, you might not feel happy at all, but many times I've seen someone horrible furious and then, suddenly be made to laugh. We're complex creatures, and I believe that we feel many emotions all the time. We just aren't that good at discerning them.
          Right now, I am writing because I am angry. I have no problem admitting that. I am human, and therefore imperfect, and although it is often difficult for me to admit my flaws, it is honest and it is healthy. As a result of my imperfections, and my anger, I have been sitting here, typing away, babbling on about my anger management because... I need that release. Everyone has their own release, some healthy, some not, some lie in between. It's interesting, isn't it, how we can all be so different and yet so similar underneath? We all cry, we all bleed, we all smile, we all love, we all hate, we all hope, we all dream... everyone gets angry.
          So, I am sorry with taking up your time with my angry writings. But I do feel slightly better now, so I guess it had some value.