I think everyone is aware that Valentine's Day is coming up in less than a week. (And if they aren't aware, they either don't own a calendar or they live under a rock.) Now, I understand that this holiday is all about "love" but what I don't understand are the expectations that come with this holiday. They seem to be as follows:
1. It is absolutely essential that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse for this holiday.
2. It doesn't matter if you only date a person because you don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day. Who knows? It could lead to something.
3. If you have a special someone, you must buy them a gift.
4. If you don't have a special someone, you are honor bound to be bitter and denounce Valentine's Day as stupid and pointless.
Although "Valentine's Day" was originally a day set aside to celebrate Saint Valentine, obviously the focus of the holiday has changed. Which isn't in itself a bad thing. But our interpretation of love and romance is so warped that we have come up with the above expectations, and more, because we don't get the concept.
Let's start with point number one. Exactly why is it so important to have a date for Valentine's Day? Before you start looking at me like I'm crazy, I'm not saying it's a bad thing to have a date. I know it's a nice thing to have someone special to share Valentine's Day with. But why is it so important to have a date for Valentine's Day itself? Wouldn't you rather just wait for the right person to come along instead of running around trying to find someone and rushing into a relationship so you can have Valentine's Day plans? The whole obsession with having a "valentine" seems to kill the romance of it all. Think about it. Which is more romantic? "We've been dating for a while and on Valentine's Day we're going to go out to dinner and take a walk under the stars." (Cheesy, I know, but hear me out.) Or: "We've been dating for a day and we know nothing about each other besides the fact that we're both good looking and didn't have a date for Valentine's Day." 9 out of 10 dentists agree, the first choice is best. (I know. Lame reference. But the point has been made.)
Second expectation kind of follows the first. If you are so wrapped up in having someone, you lose the romance. There is nothing special about trying to get into a relationship just because you want to be in a relationship. Like those people who are in new relationships every few weeks. (And don't accuse me of exaggerating. I know you know people like this.) The only reason they're in and out of relationships so often is because they only want to be in a relationship. They don't really care who it's with as long as the person makes them feel special. It's the same thing with trying to get a date for Valentine's Day. You are so desperate to have someone that you stop really caring about who it is. Instead of finding someone special, you just find someone who's available. And there is a difference. Don't settle for just anyone because you want a date.
Point three is a little easier to understand. I don't agree with it, but I can understand it. Personally, I think if you love someone, you shouldn't have to buy them flowers, chocolates, and a card to prove it. Call me a sentimentalist, but I think that it's the thought that counts. But that's just me.
This last point is probably the one that baffles me the most. It's just... bitter. Just because you're single on Valentine's Day doesn't mean that you have to hate everyone who isn't. It doesn't mean you have to hate the holiday or oppose it or call it a scam cooked up by the greeting card company. And being single doesn't mean that you're alone either. It's tempting to want to sulk around and feel bad because there are so many couples in love and you aren't in a relationship, but don't fall into that trap and don't be bitter. Your special someone will show up someday, and they will be all the more special because you waited for them and didn't get into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.
Above all, remember that at it's very essence, Valentine's Day is just a silly holiday. And it's cute and it's fun and sweet and all that but it's certainly nothing to get upset over. Just enjoy the day.
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